HOW MILITARY DEPLOYMENTS CAN BE A BLESSING ON YOUR MARRIAGE

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,

for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

Recently, I have recognized that the way society views separation from deployment can be toxic and prevent growth within military relationships. Though it is easy to list the misfortunes that come from separation by deployment, choosing to see the blessings that can transpire during the separation period can strengthen rather than break your relationship. Here is the top blessing I am choosing to focus on during this deployment...

Separation has reminded me how significant my husbands role is in our family.

We all put expectations on people, though it may look different, all of us have expectations for the people in our lives. Because of this, it can be easy to fall into the trap of allowing your expectations of others to get in the way of your relationship with others. When someone does not meet an expectation that you have set on them, you become disappointed. Expectations for your spouse to wash the laundry the way you want, to put the dirty clothes in the place you want, to recognize what you're thinking without you having to say it, etc. Separation from deployment can allow you to see how much a spouse does that you choose not to show gratitude for because you're too focused on what they don't do when they're home.

The blessing: had you not been separated from deployment you may not have recognized a need to change your expectations, expectations that are preventing you from drawing closer as a couple. But since you were separated, because they deployed, and you chose to have a *blessing perspective* you now have a different way of handling the conflict that may arise when they return.

So what do you do with these realizations?

You let them build your character. You let them mold your perspective on life & the situations you encounter. You use them to strengthen your relationship.

Its easy, during deployment, to focus on thoughts like "I'm having to be a single parent, because they're deployed" "I'm having to manage everything, because they're deployed" "I'm having to attend events alone, because they're deployed." But choose to view these experiences through a *blessing mindset* - "I recognize that they do more than I give them credit for as a parent, I would not have recognized that had they not deployed" "I realize they do more around the house and with paying bills/ taxes, I would not have have recognized that had they not deployed" "I've learned how to be independent and build friendships, I would not have learn that had they not deployed." Its a choice. So choose.

Stationed at Fort Riley, Kansas and want me to capture the blessings within your family? contact me here

Not military, but in the Manhattan, Kansas area and want to book with me? head to link above!